Here is a self-help technique that can be used to resolve negative emotions. It’s one aspect of my coaching work and although it’s not the complete procedure, and doing it alone isn’t the same as working with me, it can still be very useful.
I recommend reading the procedure two or three times before you do it. I hope you find it helpful. If you’d like to work on negative emotions more fully and deeply, and resolve their root cause, I’m here to help so please get in touch.
Enjoy freedom from negative emotions and restore inner peace with this self-help technique. Photo by Pixabay.
The procedure
Everything is energy, including emotions. Negative emotions are stuck energy. The energy gets stuck because we’re resisting it, so it can’t flow. Our resistance creates an opposing force and the two energies bang up against each other and create a block, like a dam in a river.
So, if we stop resisting an emotion, the energy can become unstuck, it can flow again, and the negativity and unpleasantness will disappear. The way to stop resisting something is to completely experience it.
You may be wondering: we resist things precisely because we don’t want to experience them, so how can we ‘completely experience’ them? Well, I’ll show you how …
- Find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Relax your body and your mind. Take some deep abdominal breaths, relaxing on the exhale. Have your eyes open or closed, whatever suits you best.
- Now, notice the negative emotion that’s bothering you. Name it. You can call it anything, even a made-up word. Allow it to be present. You’re going to ‘be with’ this emotion, sitting with it like it’s a guest you’ve invited round for a cup of tea. Remember it’s only energy, and it’s your own energy. It won’t harm you.
- As you sit with this emotion, become an impartial observer, as if you’re watching a movie play out in front of you. Have a sense of curious interest in what’s happening. Now, become aware of any sensations in your body. Notice them, describe them to yourself and let them go. Notice any thoughts, memories or images that come into your mind, describe them to yourself and let them go.
- Don’t do anything with, or to, the emotion and the body sensations, thoughts, memories and images that come up in relation to it. There’s no work involved here, no effort. The key is to effortlessly allow them to be present, to fully unfold and express themselves until they’ve run their course. Don’t react to them, judge them or resist them, and don’t try to figure them out, analyse them, change them or make them go away. Simply notice them, accept their presence and do nothing.
- All of these things are stuck energies associated with the negative emotion. After some time the energies will diminish and become fully experienced and assimilated. You’re absorbing the energies into your being, ‘digesting’ them. In doing so, you’re dissolving your resistance to the emotion, so the stuck energy can flow again and the emotion is no longer perceived as negative or unwanted.
The process takes as long as it takes. Don’t rush it or try to force it. You’ll get a sense of when it’s complete and you’ll feel a shift or a release, maybe also a deep sigh of relief and a feeling of lightness, peace and freedom.
When you finish the process, gently bring yourself back to normal awareness and make sure you’re grounded and present in the here-and-now. You might like to take it easy for a while afterwards or maybe do something nice for yourself.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any emotion and ideally we should be able to experience the whole range of human emotions. It’s only the resistance of an emotion that leads us to classify it as negative or unwanted, thereby making it problematic. The above process can help you to experience any emotion fully and authentically, rather than being ‘at effect’ with regard to the emotion.
If you’d like to work on a negative emotion more fully and deeply, or resolve any unwanted condition in your life, please get in touch using the button below. I offer a low-cost, no-obligation introductory chat where we can explore how transformational coaching can help you.